My friend and I try to avoid speaking the P word. What is the P word you may ask? The P word is PATIENCE.
Why do we avoid the P word? Well, to put it plain and simple, once you pray for patience, another life challenge is likely on the way to strengthen you.
The P word is a good thing, for patience:
- Corrects our behaviors.
- Protects us from dangers unseen.
- Helps us to appreciate and celebrate in due season.
- Teaches us to provide maturity in areas in our lives where we are weak.
- Helps us to gain knowledge.
- Enables us to tolerate others rather than be selfish and think only of ourselves.
Most folks would say that the P word gives us wisdom, too. I am not so sure about that. The P word teaches us through and by our experiences; it is only when we gain knowledge, endurance, and positive strength that we will receive wisdom. If we do not learn from our mistakes, then the challenges will likely continue and we will not grow.
The P word corrects us when we are impatient or intolerant of others’ behaviors. For example, I had very short patience for the parents of an at-risk youth I was mentoring. It took a friend to say to me, “Have you ever thought that the parents just do not know any better?” My friend was right. I assumed that everyone had some level of Christian moral values like me. If not Christian values, I would hope for some moral values. I assumed that the parents knew better.
Most of the youth I mentored were African American males who were involved in violent behaviors. I mean everything from killing, stabbing, and violently assaulting strangers on the street. I even had some youth who would torture animals. Patience taught me that their violence was only a reflection of their inner pain.
The African American females were extremely promiscuous and had ugly attitudes. I was only successful in changing their behaviors once I learned the source of their pain. It took patience. I learned that patience was not for those who I was mentoring, the patience I needed was for me. It was the only way I could be effective in mentoring these young people and their families.
Patience taught me how to calmly work with others whose personalities were different than mine. Patience taught me greater reverence for God and the ministry. Without the P word, I would not have been able to stop a youth who was moments away from stabbing someone else with a 12-inch butcher knife. I would not have walked up eight flights of stairs in the dark corridors of Chicago’s Robert Taylor Housing Projects to avoid gunfire and check that mentees were ok. I had to experience what each youth I mentored went through on a daily basis. Once I learned that, I became tolerant and was able to hear God’s voice clearly for direction and guidance in how to change each youth’s behavior that I mentored.
The P word protects us. On several occasions, I would hear of a violent shooting, car accident, or tragedy that occurred in a location where I should have been. Now, when I start out earlier than expected or get detained by a missed bus or phone call, I practice patience. My change in travel plans is for a reason.
Patience has taught me to appreciate my success. Even though I have struggled, failed and fallen several times, practicing patience through it all has birthed out of me gifts and talents that I did not know I had. It took months or years for the talents and gifts within me to mature. I can celebrate my successes with sincere appreciation because I am reminded of how long it took to get there.
Patience has taught me how to love unconditionally. How can I treat someone else with little patience when God has so much patience for me? When He loves me in spite of my immaturity? When I have to repeat certain life lessons because I am too hardheaded or stubborn? When He is still molding and shaping me, maturing me for my destiny?
Patience is learning. Patience goes into the areas of our lives that are dark, where deep hurts or pains have been hidden, and in areas where we may feel abandoned or alone. It finds its way into the corners of our lives that are hindering the development of our gifts and talents and shines its light brightly. You see, patience – the P word – digs up and forces out every area in our lives where there are seeds that need to grow. Change is hard, and most people do not like it. That is why they avoid the P word at all costs. Do not be afraid to ask for patience. Instead, welcome it into your life so that your light and talents can shine for the entire world to see.