I am an attractive, single, with no children 48-year-old African American female. I am shapely at 5 feet 7 inches. I have fine natural wavy shoulder length hair. I have big brown eyes and naturally long eyelashes, and I have naturally full lips. I have shapely big legs and I have a large booty and large breasts. I am voluptuous to say the least.
In addition, I have old school moral values. I am successful. I am a minister and prophet. I am deep in my thinking, for I think outside the box. I am creative. I am virtuous. I am wise. I am confident. I am dependable. I am giver. I am kind, affectionate, compassionate, and I am a helper.
In the same matter, I am sassy to the core. I give my wise opinions. I am tough when forced, but I choose my battles. I will fight for those who cannot defend themselves; I will speak-up when I see wrong; I do not back down from a fight and I will fight if I have to. I am a visionary. I am stubborn. I am hardheaded. I am very independent, and I want my way most of the times because I had to always do things on my own without very little help. In all that I am – I am a good woman – a virtuous woman.
It took several years of tribulations to know who I am; therefore, I will not settle for a mere relationship because I am horny. Others asked me, “How can you go without a man?” The past hurts reminds me of what I endured and to me the drama is not worth it. I like my peace of my mind and I refuse to give my peace away. I’m reminded of the Word of God. ”Think on these things, whatsoever…. I move on.
Most men want a good woman, but many of them do not have the integrity of what a good woman needs in a man nor can many handle a woman such as me. It will definitely take God to send the “right” man for me. I said, “Send.” It is not for me to go seeking a man, so I keep busy doing the things that God requires for me to do. I just hope I do not trip over the “right” man for me when God does send him.
When I meet men (all types of men), I hear repeatedly, “I need a good woman like you” while I am trying to run as if a tornado is a-coming. I know this is just a “script” that many men will use as a stage – a game. Most have no serious interest but to conquer the prey (woman) to lure into a quick sexual relationship.
Many “good women” who have been approached from this type of man would not entertain the thought of being with him. Unless she is sexually depraved and that is all she wants, most likely, she will be polite so to not offend or bruise the man’s ego. Most “good women” will not return the phone calls and will avoid them. It is not to be evil, or mean-spirited, but we (good women) are not going to open our self to be hurt, nor allow a man to destroy what is precious to us – our self.
Let us go a little deeper.
Most men are OUT-OF-ORDER! Most men SEEK the wrong women because their interest is to feel fulfilled for a moment and not for a lifetime – not yet. Fear tends to keep most men from developing – maturing in the areas that will help him achieve goals in life, so most, conquer and move on to the next prey.
Most men leave a trail of seeds behind – children. Then here is the “momma drama” and he never stops to think how his actions will affect his seed – his child. Whatever his decision, God will hold him accountable and he will never be fulfilled, or successful in personal life, until he gets in order with his Maker – his God. No woman and no sex can do that for him – fulfill him.
Man is a spiritual being first and he has a purpose:
First purpose: To glorify God
Second purpose: To love his neighbor and fulfilled the “good work” established by God
Third purpose: To propagate
Final purpose: To be a good steward
In order for man to fulfill his purpose, God created a helpmate. God never said for the man to seek a “good woman.” God told man to seek a helpmate – wife. A wife is to meet his needs and not his lustful desires. However, today, most men just want a woman to meet his lustful desires. A woman that you seek should possess the qualities that you need (NEED) to help you fulfill your purpose. A man should pray to God to inquire of Him what he needs in a helpmate:
Men, let us take a step back. Yep! Let us go to Adam and Eve where it all began:
Question #1: Why did God create woman in the first place?
Elder Dixon’s article “My Boo II,” explains it from a man’s perspective. I am going to give you mine. For those of you who do not read your Holy Bible it goes a little something like this:
“And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” (Genesis 2:2:18-2:23)
If you would notice, God said it was not good for man to be alone and God created a helpmeet for him. The man searches because he needs the part of him that is missing – the need – the woman and not just any woman – the woman that meets his needs. DO YOU GET IT MEN? A Woman is to meet your need. WHAT IS YOUR NEED MAN? Is it the glamour of skinny hips or big booty, long hair, fancy manicured nails, and juicy lips?
A Helpmate should possess the following:
• She loves God
• She is in Covenant with God
• She is virtuous
• She is of similar faith
• She is not lazy
• She has good work values
• She is wise – not foolish
• She is gentle, kind, affectionate, and caring.
• She has similar positive family moral values
• She is a nurturer
• She loves her neighbor
• She does not gossip or spread rumors
• She speaks carefully – she does not use profane language
• She encourages others
Most men, husband, who are seeking a “good woman,” must possess the qualities worthy of a good woman –a helpmate:
• He loves God
• He is in Covenant with God
• He is of similar faith
• He is responsible and takes responsibility for his actions
• He is a good steward; he is not selfish, stingy, or tight with money or material things
• He is wise – not foolish
• He listens to wise instructions
• He is knowledgeable and he provides understanding
• He is a good provider
• He has good work values
• He is respectful – a gentleman
• He speaks carefully – he does not use profane language
• He is a nurturer
• He has similar positive family moral values
• He honors himself therefore; he will not be disrespectful to his helpmate
• He is a good role model to his family first and to others
• He encourages others
When a man goes from one woman to the next, most would say that he is sowing his “wild oats.” There are consequences resulting from sowing his “wild oats.” Most consequences are children who have been born out of sin – rebellion. The children have no covering. The children are rebellious and have generational curses afflicted upon them because of the sins of their fathers and mothers. The other consequences may be STD’s, other sicknesses and diseases, poverty, and additional generational curses.
Men it is all on you. Do you know your purpose? Do you love God and are you in Covenant with God? Do you want just a good woman? Do you want a woman who will meet your needs? Do you, the mature man, possess the qualities to have a helpmate?
Truth be told, a man can have as many “good women” as he wants, and he will never be complete; he will always find himself searching – preying on women until he becomes old and tired. Yes. He can brag about how many women he has had. Just for the record a helpmate that God designs, the true “good woman” does not want an old, tired, and worn-out man. She does not want someone who will mistreat her nor appreciate her.
Therefore, the next time you tell a woman “I need a good woman like you,” I hope you possess the qualities that she will need in you. You will appreciate having a good woman, once you know your purpose and can sincerely glorify God.
The man is the head of the woman. God is the Head of the man. A woman wants a man she can respect – she can honor. She does not mind being submissive when he is the man he should be and when he knows what he wants. Most importantly, a man that honors God and he is not a hypocrite.
Your help mate, the good woman, the virtuous woman, will love you to the fullest. She will stand with you through everything. She will support your dreams, hopes, and goals. She will help you meet every need and every desire. She will keep your house clean and your family in order. She will make certain your dinner and bath is ready for you when you get home. She will not walk out on you if you become sick or lose your job. She will nurse you back to good health and she will encourage you to tapped into your talents for a new career. She does not want you to take her forgranted or use her for money or fame. She wants to know will you honor, love, nurture, and support her too. She wants to know when things get tough or if she gets fat or sick will you walk away. She needs to trust you. She wants to know if she is safe with you?
The man is to love the woman as he loves himself, but if he does not know his purpose then how can he love himself? How can he love her? Do you love yourself or are you in love with your self?
Until you know your purpose – until you mature – until you love and honor God – until then, do not seek a good woman because you will damage her.