Suddenly, I awaken to find myself floating in a mass of water. Paralyzed with fear, I tilt my head to the left and saw water. I tilt my head to the right and saw water. I look straight up and saw the sky. Questions speeds through my thoughts trying to understand how I got to this place. Why am I here in the ocean?
Many times, I literally did not know how I was going to make it. There were times when I literally thought that I was losing my mind. I did not know how I was going to make it through the pressure of waiting and constantly praying through the fears and mix emotions. I realize that as a human being, I am not as strong as I pretend to be. The trials and tribulations of life knocked me into the reality of my human inability. It caused to question why I even exist.
That question compels you to take a long look in the mirror at your existence, so long that sometimes even your beliefs begin to feel like a fraud. I thought I had faith. I thought I was a strong Christian. I thought.
It is not until you go through various trials and tribulations that you begin to understand you have absolutely no control of the outcomes in life.
There are times that I want to ball myself up into a corner. One part of me wants to bite, fight, and kick anyone who comes close to me. The other part of me wants to be hugged by a friend I can trust in order to release all of the anguish, fear, and pain. Do I remain strong, or am I really strong? Do I show that I am weak by releasing?
Paul says to be content in whatever state we’re in. “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” (Philippians 4:11-12)
I am so excited to share with you that a Soul has been saved from a cult.
Last Thursday, I gave my book, God! I Want to Sin! to one of my associates, S. S shared the book with her friend who has been in a cult for months. According to S, her friend could not put the book down.
One day, I walked out at 6:00 a.m. as the bright Sun peak within the clear blue sky. I would lift my arms half way to say, “Thank you Lord” for another day. I did not want folks to think that I was crazy, so I lift my arms half way. Then I was reminded of the passage “I will be ashamed of you if you are ashamed of me,” so I lift my arms as straight as I could to give God FULL PRAISE! After all, God has done more for me within these 6 hours of a new day than I could ever imagine.