CHANGE MY BEHAVIOR

At the end of the year, I take an evaluation of everything I had gone through that year. I do a spiritual-mental checklist of life-lessons of year 2012.  What did I learned from my many trials?  What type of testimonies do I have from those trials?  What areas in my development; spiritually, mentally, and emotionally did I grow, and what areas in my life I need continue improvement?

Year 2012 had been another year of roller-coaster of emotional pain as the countless times of calling the ambulances between the hours of 11:00 p.m. to 3:00 a.m. rushing our father to the emergency rooms.  As various physicians prepared me for the “worst,” I do a call-to-call prayer warrior of the Righteous alert for this is a 911 Spiritual-Emergency.

I do not call “church folks” when a 911 Spiritual-Emergency arises.  I call the 911-Righteous.  Those I know whom live daily for God.  No. God is not just a religion to them only gathering on Sunday mornings or attend some type of church event.  No. The Righteous of God spends time with our advocate-our Father (1^st John: 2.1).  They are in daily fellowship with Him.  They do not pretend to love God and not walk in God’s light – His love.

You see, when there is a crisis, I do not need pretenders.  I need the real thing.  I do not need the devils saying, “Jesus I know, and Paul I know; but who are you?” (Acts: 19:15) No! I need the Righteous.  It is God’s awesome power of the prayer of the Righteous avails much because when two or more gather on one accord by faith; it is the Power of God’s own Righteousness by faith that takes effect.

As I take the spiritual mental checklist of 2012.  I noticed how I have grown to trust God in meeting all of my needs.  Usually meaning that all of my needs meant food, shelter etc. It never dawn to me, it meant health too.

At first, on July 4, 2008, when it all began, I had to call the 911-Righteous ALL THE TIME, for I was too emotional to pray.  Constant life and death trials were new to me because it was my Daddy on the verge of death each time, and I had no control.  I did not know how or what to pray.  I could not pray the prayers that I see the pastors and deacons of the church do.

“Oh Lord, touch Jesus… Go into the hospitals …”

The wrong prayer of church tradition does not avail much.

Knowing God is not an errand boy, for God is ALREADY there.  We need to ALLOW the Holy Spirit to teach us what to pray.  Already, Jesus told us how to pray. To do this, we must know God’s Word rightly dividing the Word of Truth and not based upon religious traditions.  We need NOT pray routine prayers. Nor, do we pray what we heard someone else prayed because it sounded good. God wants us to pray from our hearts and, more importantly, by the Spirit.

Many deaths occurred due to prayers prayed based upon church tradition and believing it was “God’s will when it was not God’s will.”  It is NOT God’s will for anyone to die before his or her appointed time. “He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living” (St. Mark 12:27).  Again, one must know God’s Word and what God has said on the matter.  I told each physician “God has the last Word.” I refuse to accept their reports. “Let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, that thou mightiest be justified in thy sayings. (Romans: 3:4)

It is year 2012; I now know God as Jehovah Rapha – the God that heals. I learn to pray God’s Word back to Him. I learn what it meant to declare “HE SHALL LIVE AND NOT DIE”, mean it and stand on the Word of God even in the midst of tears.  Knowing that the Father and I are as one, for I am God’s Righteousness. I learn what it meant to be the Righteousness of God and walk in my authority as the Righteous of God. I come boldly to the throne of Grace.  I GOT THE RIGHT!

I “TASTE” and “SAW” that the Lord God-Jehovah Rapha is GOOD!

I am a spoiled-brat of God’s Righteousness.  I expect God to do what He said that He would do in the Word of God.  If God does not do what He said He would do, when I want God to do it, I have a temper-tamper.  Yep! I certainly do.

I have been having a “TUDE” (Attitude) with God. You see, our Daddy has been in the hospital since late October 2012.  I wanted God to healed Daddy completely, so Daddy will not have to reside in a nursing home for the fourth time.  Our Daddy has had a horrible year of three nursing homes that repeatedly ending Daddy in the ICUs.

Recently, God revealed several things to me to why God had NOT answered my prayers my way:

Number 1:    2^nd Chronicles 10:15 “for the cause was of God, that the LORD might perform his word.” I took this to mean for me that God is using my Daddy to accomplish His will and purpose.

Number 2:    St. Matthews: 13: 20-21 “But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that hears the word, and anon (soon) with joy receives it; yet has he not root in himself, but endured for a while: for when tribulation or persecution arise because of the word, by and by he is offended.” I took this to mean for me that I cannot give-up when tribulations and persecution challenges my Faith-God’s Word embedded within me.

Number 3.     I would not have had the opportunities to Speak into lives or give warnings, as well as minister to those I have met.  I had forgotten about the people that I was led to minister too. Visiting Daddy in the hospitals and nursing homes, many were encourage by our faith to trust God. Many would say, “There is just something about you.  We can see God in you.”  Each time, God received the glory.

Therefore, I no longer have my temper tampers of why God why.  I have learned in year 2012 that God will keep his promises when we walk upright before Him.  We cannot afford to play church, for when 911 Spiritual Emergencies arises, we must be able to STAND on truth.  One cannot stand on truth if one is a lie.

We must BE the Righteousness of God. We must know God’s Word so we know what to pray back to Him.  We must take our authority and to trust God despite what we see and what the doctors or anyone may say.

For the year 2012, I had to experience God’s Word to know that God’s Word is true.

I learned and now know God can and will do the impossible.

Karen and John met in high school.  Karen and John attended a community college.  Both Karen and John received their Liberal arts associate degrees. Karen and John have been married for several years and have four children. They reside in a “working-poor” community on the South side of Chicago. Their children age range from two years old to twelve years old.  Karen is a stay-home mom.  After their fourth child was born, Karen and John decided to sacrifice their money and open a family grocery store name “We Need Groceries.”

Their family and other families needed a community grocery store that served fresh food, meat, and produce. There were not any community resident family businesses; there are only minority merchants.  Various minority merchants take advantage of the community residents for many received welfare and link cards.  Therefore, the minority merchants charge 20 up to 40 percent more than a grocery store chain and do not provide fresh groceries, produce, and meat. Many stores open at 7:00 o’clock in the morning providing hard liquor and cigarettes, and snack food. Many community children eat snack food for breakfast while walking to school.

Karen and John care about their community, for they have reside in their community all of their lives. Most of the residents have moved away because of the increase of violence within their community. However, many of the older residents lived within the community for over forty years, and their children have had children too. Many of the neighbors know one another for years. Karen and John want to provide healthy breakfast for the community children and fresh produce, meat and less expensive groceries.

This was a typical day for Karen and John.

Their day began at 5:30 in the morning.  Karen tells John “Good morning” and John returns the good morning jester.  Both have bad breath, so they go into the bathroom to brush their teeth and wash-up.  Afterwards, they give each other a peck on the mouth.

Karen goes to prepare breakfast. John goes to wake-up the children and prepare them for school, except for their three year old.  John checks on the three year old. The three year old is still asleep. John tells the children to wash-up, brush their teeth, and clean behind their ears. Karen is preparing cooked oatmeal with raisins, butter toast, and turkey links, with orange juice.

Karen prepares the breakfast table to serve the food.  The children walked into the kitchen to tell Karen “good morning” as they sit down to eat their breakfast.  She replies the same and kisses each one on the forehead.  It is now 6:30 in the morning. The family eats their breakfast together. Afterwards, John completes his breakfast, and kisses each of the children on their forehead and gives Karen a peck on the mouth while telling each that he loves them.  John rushes to the car and drive away to open their family business before 7:00 in the morning. John arrives at their business at 6:45 in the morning.  John prepares the front table stand with fresh fruit, sugar free oatmeal-raisin breakfast bars, and small orange juice bottles.  John opens the door at 7:00 in the morning.

Meanwhile, Karen makes certain that the children’s clothing is deceit and their hygiene. Then Karen checks the children’s homework assignments and backpacks. It is now 7:30 in the morning. The children grab their lunches and backpacks. Karen kisses the children again on the forehead as they tell each other “I love you.” The children walk to school, for they must be in school before 8:00 in the morning.

Karen goes to wakes-up their two-year-old. Karen warms the oatmeal prepared and feeds their child. Then, she washes up and dresses their child as she plays with him. Karen places their child in a play pin to keep him out of trouble as she cleans the kitchen.  After cleaning the kitchen, Karen gently grab their two-year-old and carry him to her bedroom, as she prepares for today.

Karen sits her child down in the family room, as she begins to house clean.  Karen cleans their three bedrooms, three bathrooms – 1,200 square foot home. After Karen cleans the bedrooms and bathrooms, Karen cleans the family room.  It is now 12 noon, and the baby is hungry.  Karen prepares and feeds their child. Afterwards, Karen lays the baby down in the play pin for him to take his nap. Karen gathers the dirty clothes and begins to do the laundry.  Separating the colors and prestaining the clothing, she places the dirty clothing into the washing machine.

As the clothes are washing, Karen walks back into the family room, turn on the television to watch The View.  While Karen watches The View, she mends torn socks and other clothing while watching their two-year-old too. It is now 1:30 in the afternoon. Karen goes to take the first set of clothes out of the washing machine and place them into the dryer. Then, she places the second set of clothes in the washing machine.  Karen goes back to the family room to check on their child. It is now time for Me-TV. Karen favorite Me-TV shows includes “I Love Lucy and “Gun Smoke.”

The first set of clothing is dry.  Karen takes the first set of clothing out of the dryer and places the second set into the dryers.  Then, Karen places the third set of clothes into the washing machine.  Karen goes back into the family room with the basket of clothing to iron and fold.  The baby is still asleep, but Karen goes to make certain the baby is dry.  Afterwards, Karen continues to iron and fold the clothing.

As Karen tends to the laundry, she hears knocking at the front door.  Karen peeks through the keyhole of their front door, and she recognizes that the people knocking are Jehovah Witnesses. Karen quietly returns to the family room ignoring several more knocks at the door.  It is now 3:00 in the afternoon. The children get out of school at 3:00 in the afternoon. The phone rings and it is John on the other end. John was checking to see if Karen and the baby were doing fine.  Briefly, Karen and John talk and Karen hangs up the phone.

The children have arrived home at 3:15 in the afternoon.  Karen goes into the kitchen to prepare sandwiches for the children.  Karen goes and wakes up the baby.  The baby was hungry too, so Karen gives the baby a bottle of milk.  The baby lies back down inside the play pin drinking the bottle of milk.  The children are in the kitchen eating their food.  The dryer bell rings and Karen goes to take the final load of clothes out of the dryer. Again, Karen hears knocking at the door.  Karen goes to see who is at the door.

Karen peeks through the front door keyhole, but Karen did not recognize the person at the front door.  Karen asks, “Who is it”?  “I have a package for Karen Smith.” Karen asks for identification.  The messenger takes out his identification and he held it near the front door keyhole. Karen opens the front door to receive the package.  The messenger hands Karen a small bible track that says, “Answer the Door.”

Karen became angry, so she asked the messenger. I do not have time for such foolishness. Why did you deceive me into believing that I had a package?” The messenger answered, “you have the most valuable and irreplaceable package in the world.” How can this bible track that says “Answer the Door” is valuable? “Is not your salvation most valuable;” the messenger reply.  Karen says, “I do not have time to talk religion.” Karen closed the door. The messenger walks away.

Karen goes back to her chores and tells the children to do their homework.  It is now 3:45 in the afternoon. The children went into their various bedrooms to do their homework.  There were no televisions or music in the children’s bedrooms.  Karen and John want the children to be focus when doing their homework and or when they need to be discipline.  The 48-inch television was in the family room whereby they can spend quality time together.

Karen completes her chores when she hears knocking at the front door.  Karen says to herself, “I hope it is not some religious person again.”  Karen peeks through the front door keyhole and she sees an elderly woman at the front door.  Karen opens the door and asks, “May I help you?” The elderly woman hands Karen a bible track that says, “Answer the Door.”  The elderly woman kindly says “thank you for opening the door” and she walks away.  Karen look at the elderly woman walk away, shakes her head, and closes the front door.

Karen hears the baby crying, so she went to see what is wrong with the baby.  The baby dropped his bottle out of the play pin. Karen picks up the baby’s bottle and hand it to the baby.  Karen plays with the baby for a moment.  Karen goes to put up the laundry in its various rooms.  It is now 5:00 p.m. Karen goes to prepare dinner.  It is now 5:45 p.m. Karen set the dinner table.  The children complete their homework and go to wash their hands for dinner.

John walks in through the back door. The children greet their father. John goes to wash his hands before sitting at the dinner table.  On his way to the dining room, John hears knocking at the door.  Meanwhile, Karen and their 12-year-old bring the food from the kitchen into the dining room, placing the variety of foods on their table.   John opens the front door and there is a youth standing in front of him.  The youth hands John a bible track that says, “Answer the Door.” John says “thank you.” The youth walks away.

John goes into the dining room, and hand over the bible track to Karen.  Karen reads the bible track that says, “Answer the Door.”  Karen says, “This is weird.” John says, “What is weird?” Karen says two people, a messenger and elderly woman gave me the same bible track earlier today.” Karen places the same bible track with the other two on their console table and she sits at the dinner table. It is now 6:30 in the evening.  John returns to their family business and tells Karen, “I will see you later.  I should be home around 9:30 p.m.”

Karen feeds the baby. Afterwards, the baby and children play while Karen cleans the kitchen.  The children hear knocking at the door again. The 12-year-old gets up and walks to the front door.  She peeks through the front door keyhole, and sees her friend from school.  She opens the front door. Karen comes to the front door to see who is at the front door. Karen invites the friend into their home.  Karen’s daughter and friend from school go into the family room to sit and talk.  Karen asks the friend, how her parents were doing. The friend tells Karen that her parents are doing fine.

Karen tell the friend that it is little late in the evening.  Do your parents know that you are here? The friend replies, yes. Why did you come to visit my daughter? I want to share with your daughter, and all of you, the most valuable and irreplaceable gift you can ever receive.  Karen said, “You are the second person who had said something like that to me today.” The friend hands the daughter and Karen a bible track.  The bible track says, “Answer the Door.”

The friend tells both of them, “your salvation is the most valuable and irreplaceable gift they can ever get in this world. Your salvation is everlasting and cannot be taking away from either of you. Unless you give it away, your salvation cannot be taken. And with your salvation, you get so many other valuable gifts and promises. Those who do not have salvation cannot receive all the protection, gifts and promises of God. There is so much that you will get with your salvation, that we do not know it all. The more you grow in love and is obedient to God’s Word, God promises, Eye have not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God has prepared for them that love him” (1^st Corinthians 2:9)

The friend goes on to say, Ms. Karen, you have had three people to hand you this bible track today.  Karen says, “How did you know.  Do you know them?” No. God told me. The little girl answered, and said, “the Holy Bible says:”

“I am the door:

By me if any man enters in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. 

That if  you will confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and will believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart man believes unto righteousness; and with the mouth, confession is made unto salvation.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

It is just that easy to receive salvation, and it does not cost you anything, but a sincere repented heart.

Karen says, “Just think all those people that we open the door for on today. Gosh! Just think, we really did not answer the door.”

Oh True and Living God of Israel

Blessed be your Holy Name, Oh Lord!

I give you the praise, for all the glory and praise belongs to you!

Lord, I thank you for new mercy and new grace today that my eyes have not seen

Another opportunity given me today

Blessed by thy Name, Oh Lord! [Read the rest of this entry...]

Because we may not receive what we want from God, we may feel that God do not love us, especially during adversity and sickness.

Most of us do all the “right” things that we have been religiously program to do by our Christian leaders.  These Christian leaders are, supposedly, “successful at getting God to do his “perfect will.” Most are taught to “decree a thing, the claim it thing, and confess it thing.”

In doing so, we are activating our faith by trusting God. However, it must be the will and purpose of God.  What did God say in his Word? Therefore, we must be conscious about the motive for our prayers.

The prosperity movement of “operating faith and claim it faith” are religious methodologies to having increase faith, so others have said. Supposedly, faith methodology moves God to do what we want. When, in fact, it is nothing more than manipulation. Yep, I said it.

Manipulation is a form of – oh, must I say it?

Ugh!

Witchcraft!

Ooh Noooooo… [Read the rest of this entry...]

There are times that I literally feel that God does not love me anymore. These are the times when I feel overwhelm when I am focusing on the circumstances instead of the solutions. Other times are when I prayed and hope for something, and I do not receive it when I want it. Meanwhile, I am wrestling against time itself with time winning.

Operating in the flesh, I feel what I want or need is urgent, but it appears God does not. I feel that I need God to meet my needs and desires NOW!  I am freaking out, but God is chilling. I forget about God’s timing and not my own. Operating in the Spirit, it is not what I want or feel I need.  It is God’s perfect will and purpose for my life:

“For everything there is a season, and a time for very purpose under heaven” (Ecclesiastic 3:1) “And I will make them and the places round about my hill a blessing; and I will cause the shower to come down in its season; there shall be showers of blessing” (Ezekiel 34:26)

God is the “season” for our life’s production. More importantly, when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, Jesus became Lord too. Giving God ALL AUTHORITY over me, God is Lord over my life. However, when we focus on the circumstances and not see God is the answer, we become stressed-out.  It is only when we placed (giving it all to God) trust in God, we stop stressing. . God has NEVER failed me before.  God will not do it now. [Read the rest of this entry...]